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Fraud = One who maintains friendships and relationships with habitual lying. #Fake — Creativelybrown (@Creativelybrown)

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Desmond Hatchett: The Poster Child For Black Male Irresponsibility/ Headline News

Man who fathered 30 kids with 11 different women says he needs a break – from child support | Today Headline News.

 

Apparently, these are low income women who for the life of me can’t seem to do anything with themselves but keep their legs open.  With the rate of HIV/AIDS among minority populations it stands to reason that tales like these are often kept out of the headlines as to why more and more heterosexual black females are contracting the disease at an alarming rate.  Poverty apparently is a breeding ground for more of the same, when you have nothing else, just have irresponsible sex.

Related articles

• Man With 30 Children Begs Court For Help With Child Support Payments [VIDEO] (therussparrmorningshow.com)
• Dad With 30 Kids Can’t Afford Child Support (inquisitr.com)
• Desmond Hatchett sets record with 30 children (nydailynews.com)
• Father of 30 Kids Wants Child-Support Break (theroot.com)

Truth

Its been awhile……….But after a long trip around social networking sites(FB) I kept seeing a reoccurring theme, and that is what is often shared is half truths, and transparency meant for garnering sympathy rather than honest encouragement.

Hardly ever will you see a woman say ” I am needy have low self-esteem and I allow men to use me emotionally/physically, because I believe I have no other choice”.  What you will see is her harp on why men aren’t honest/faithful and committed.

Hardly will you ever see a man say “I am a no good S.O.B, I use women for sex/emotionally/for money/and that I don’t believe in commitment or that I don’t like certain races of women that is why you never see me with one”.  What you will see is him harping on women agreeing to being friends knowing she wants more, or blaming women for any number of reasons which isn’t the real reasons why they wouldn’t stay with any one of them.

Hardly will you ever see a woman say “I am a bad mother, I buy myself all sorts of designer clothing, get my hair and nails did every week, have enough shoes to fill a small boutique, while my kids have only 3 decent outfits for school, and runned down shoes and wearing dirty little sneakers from last year”. What you will see is her talking about how great her kids are and how well they are doing in school, if she talks about them at all.

Hardly ever will you see a man say ” I hardly spend time with my kids, and though they live with their mother, I hardly give her anything to support my kids, while I have the best of everything, and travels to boot, and none of the times I spent money to travel and do fun things have I ever spent money to take my kids outside of the country, or outside of their state”.  But what you will see is a man who says “his kids mean everything and that they are great kids, and will even dot on them in front of everyone to make himself appear to be a good man, and speak ill of the mother as being bitter”(when the truth is she is bitter about the truth).

Hardly ever will you see a Believer say ” I only go to church because my parents did, and I want to become a part of a large organization to socialize and network my business, I am only a religious person on Sunday and I have premarital sex often and live in sin because its natural, and I don’t believe everything in the bible is meant to be followed directly, and I just do it because it makes me look good to say I belong to a church”.  What you will often see is, “God is yet still working on me, the devil is busy, I am saved for my sins by the shedding of the blood, God knows my heart, and satan came to steal/kill and destroy”.

Hardly ever will you see someone admit to being a horrible friend or person..” I talk about friends behind their backs because I really don’t see them as friends, but pretend because there is something I want or get from them by the association, I am a horrible person that tells other people’s secrets or uses things said in confidence to boost my persona and extend myself as a victim, that I slander others as a way to bond with people I want to impress that I may cloak my own truths talking about someone else.  My transparency is cloaked truth meant to garner a sympathetic ear, and attention and that I would never tell the truth of things I do in fear of rebuke and accountability”.
What you will see is, “I am simply a victim of other people and their anger or issues”.

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The Otherside Of Men and Porn………

I stumbled across this video from another blog, and while hilarious it spoke to something that we hardly hear about.  The effects of Porn on men and their self image.  Women seem to have no problem talking about their bodies and even vagina’s for that matter with each other and even with men.  Men on the other hand seem to have a tremendous time talking about themselves and the size of their manhood(appropriately), and the truth of how they see themselves.  I thought this video was quite interesting.   If you know of any men who would gladly talk about themselves transparently by all means share.

A great question to answer is sex and porn less about objectifying women, and more men seeking ways to improve their own self-image and esteem(resulting in objectifying women), And edited to ask…..Do women objectify men?

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Sucked Dry

                                           (Graphic by vampire graphics)

Surely if I came across such an entity I would run screaming for my life…………..Which is why blood suckers never look like beasts.

I think the last time I prayed a sincere prayer before crossing over to the other side, It was a prayer that I would never have another vision and experience of death or near death experiences and that I wouldn’t be able to see beneath the surface of my encounters.  That last time I awoke one night from an extremely frightening experience in which I thought I was literally dying, from what I thought was a heart attack, to which I completely left myself.  After coming out of that experience, I jumped clear from my bed in the middle of the night, ran to my closet to get an old stethoscope that I kept from my old job to check my heart rate and rhythm.  I was apparently still here, but horrified and stayed awake most of the night until I was too tired to stay away.  What I didn’t know until a day or two later was that someone I that I was somewhat close to at the time had experienced the death of a loved one that died that very day(or night, I don’t remember at this point).  I never said anything about it, but that wasn’t the first time, but it was the last time I had the “dream“.

Several years earlier during a particular romantic relationship I had a series of them, like clock work, first it was the brother of a former mate. I had never met him as he was considered the black sheep and no one had even seen or heard from him in years, in fact he was actually never mentioned to me, but surely I had a dream about “a brother” dying in a bazaar way.  I had shared the dream with my significant other that following morning, and asked him about his brother, he essentially said that he hadn’t heard from him in years.  Not even a week pass before they get word he died in his sleep.  Funeral #1

Less than a year later his mother was ill, and hospitalized.  I had visited her several times, sometimes with her not knowing who I was, but she was a pleasant woman, and was pretty nice to me before she fell gravely ill.  It would be a couple of months before the dream comes again, and I made the mistake of sharing it, though I believed he might have known; I have a bad habit of talking in my sleep, so I just told it.  Not a week would pass before I come home to find him shaken with disbelief and looking at me with hurt and fear. Funeral #2.

Our relationship had ended, and several months would pass as we remained friends with each other, I had another one of those dreams, but this time I was in the vehicle with him when the van(which is what it was in the dream) had skidded on some ice and over turned.  Once again I awoke with such terror at the event. Scared, but relieved because we were no longer together and I wouldn’t be in a vehicle with him anyway.  I called him anyway that morning and asked him to be safe since it was winter time and we always got bad weather where I lived at the time. I think it scared him, but another week would pass and apparently he felt it was nothing, then I got sick.   I called him and asked him would he come by before going to work to bring me some soup because I couldn’t eat and was too weak to get up and do anything.  He actually made something and came by like I had asked and left.  2 hours later I missed a call and listen to my voice mail to hear him saying something, but I couldn’t make it out, so I called, several times before getting an answer.  When he left my home, on his way to work his car hit a patch of ice on the highway, I believe he said it slid about 100 yards upside down before stopping.  He was not injured, but the car was a total loss. I am not sure how he didn’t get hurt, but he asked me not to have any more dreams and I believed he feared me more than anything after that. lol

Some people called that a gift, I called it a curse.  I could see, but I couldn’t do anything to change those situations, I could feel, but I couldn’t stop it. I just usually ended up feeling drained and emotionally sucked dry after the experience.  I would think after not “seeing” that I was free. I would be far from free because if I didn’t see anything, I could feel it, and directly experience emotionally draining experiences, or experiences that required me to give so much of myself for little or no profit.

There was a strange thing I have seen under the sun……

There were a people who had many troubles, and would share them all

Whatever ail them, they shared their plight, about everyone else who was a part of their life

They were victims, and heartbroken all day and all night

Seeking your wisdom and heart to make it alright

You sympathized, and offered your life, your friendship and love as well as your fight

Till you uncovered the joy and love that had already surrounded them,

The great relationships they already had with those they said made them victims

They were trusted loved ones, and friends, that they couldn’t share with you, because it would end

The insatiable appetite they have for sweet innocent blood

They sought to punish you for wanting more

By hiding their face and the real truth

You became a projection of their brutality

They must now see that your made out to be

An Enemy

I’ve come across too many people who have given sob stories about their life, shared every dreaded detail as if their world is a complete mess, and every encounter with them is about their troubles.  I became somewhat hardened to find that these people often had “other” lives, lots of friends, and plenty of happy moments/hobbies/with a large variety of people, and I began to wonder what was it about me that people would make themselves out to be complete victims and hide the more happy parts of their lives?  Then I saw a pattern, that beauty and a sense of naiveté, with a little strength often attracted wolves and vampires.  They didn’t seek to make you a part of their lives, didn’t seek to love you, didn’t seek your friendship, but rather your metaphorical blood(Support their cause/feed their ego’s/help them gain popularity/feed off your emotional investment in a sick and twisted way).

I had learned to identify these men AND women, but how much of themselves they keep in the dark and how they often would keep you separate from family and other friends who may contradict a lot of their stories.  I believe that our society is becoming more and more narcissistic……..and its time for me to starve the vampires.   Those dreams perhaps were all warnings not for them, but for “me”.

I haven’t been feeling much in the way of writing because I truly have some ugly stuff………to throw away.

The “Liebster Blog” Award.

I’m honored that Sherline nominated me for this award, and I also thank Poeticjourney for also taking the time to share with us, herself.

Also I would like to nominate for her witty and thought-provoking posts.

http://barbedwirebones.com/

About this award: This is an award given to blogs that have less than 200 followers and deserve more recognition and encouragement. There are some guidelines that have to be followed while giving or receiving the Award.

Seriously? Random Rant

You ever communicate to someone how they’ve made you feel and they completely overlook what you said and speak about how they feel about how “THEY” feel?

I mean totally ignoring that your feeling some kind of way about a thing.

Of course YOU don’t matter, and neither does your feelings, because you’ve offended them with YOUR feelings.

Changes to blog name

Just wanted to let it be known that I changed the name of the blog, and site……for privacy reasons(Well not that anything ever is). I just didn’t want to use my government name which shows up in Google now.

Reciprocation

Just a quick.

It seems I’m this social networking age that people forget that people are often looking for connections and opportunities.

Reciprocation, is a lost art. We all often load ourselves up with people we want to follow us and borderline worship.  One of the things I find myself doing often is detaching from people who connect for one sided reason. Social networking means being social and sometimes you have to GIVE!  You have to actually go and talk to people where they are and not simply invite them to your vision and mission we call YOUR network.

Make yourself available to be a friend because people can often care less about your business otherwise.

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For Profit: Black Women……..A Rant

I suppose I could say this is another random thought, but truth is its something I’ve pondered for some time, more-so in the past week. My Rant.

I can’t count how many times and how many places have I seen and watched conversations from one end of the spectrum to the other about black women.  Almost all of them some dysfunctional identification that is solely a black woman issue and not an issue as to where we are today as a society.

I think I’ve seen it all in terms of conversation for women to adhere to, from for sisters only (Which I did enjoy the read) to these 4 men below.  It seems that black women need to be sold something, not for their benefit, but for the profit of men.

black media….

I can’t count how many times I’ve heard Michael Baisden promote this new book and video on his radio show and on his social networking site on FB, right after he(or those who work for him) posted topics that were meant to incite a gender war between black men and women.  Just this past week one such method was for them to post an article from another website on ’8 reasons black women should date white men’( I won’t bother providing links to the article), and other racially charged topics geared to get women riled up and black men to respond with angry comments towards black women.  Of course after the smoke clears, again he promotes his book and DVD’s for purchase.  Next up……….

Pardon me, while I keep a straight face!
#2 Steve Harvey

Do sisters really need to be told to act like a lady and think like a man? I mean most of what these men are saying is common sense and what most women know, but for some reason these brothers think it profitable to sell the black woman something to explain her life’s situation using the same methods church preachers have used for decades to get poor and single black women’s money and loyalty, appeal to her emotions and make her believe you are indeed the answer to her prayers or her singleness.

#3 JL.King.

Actually he should have been #1, because after he made a killing black women everywhere ran to get this book to see if their black man/husband or boyfriend was on the down-low, and if he wasn’t, every brother was going to be suspect regardless.  So along with the sisters sniffing his draws for signs of male bonding, she also was preparing herself for what many would hope, she would become dependent on male celebrities and media to tell her how to live her life and all that ails her, picking up where the preacher left off.

Ralph Richard Banks.  In the introduction of his book he writes ..

Over the past half century, African Americans have become the most unmarried people in our nation. By far. We are the least likely to marry and the most likely to divorce; we maintain fewer committed and enduring relationships than any other group. Not since slavery have black men and women been as unpartnered as we are now.

Although the African American marriage decline is especially pronounced among the poor, it is apparent as well among the affluent: doctors, lawyers, corporate professionals. Black women of all socioeconomic classes remain single in part because the ranks of black men have been decimated by incarceration, educational failure, and economic disadvantage. In recent years, two black women have graduated college for every one black man. Two to one. Every year. As a result, college-educated black women are more likely than college-educated women of other races to remain unmarried or to wed a less-educated man who earns less than they do. More than half of married black women who have graduated from college have a less-educated husband who did not. Yet despite the shortage of black male peers, black women do not marry men of other races. Black women marry across class lines, but not race lines. They marry down but not out. Thus, they lead the most racially segregated intimate lives of any Americans.

Maybe its just me, but years earlier this very topic was covered, but now they want to add a twist with yet more emphasis on black women, either because they believe we need to be studied or that there is indeed profit in marketing books and articles geared towards issues deemed “black women issues”.

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